teacher: wheres your homework
me: *swings a really big sword*
teacher: holy shit
when my family went to disney world we went on the haunted mansion ride and this actor dressed as a skeleton came up to our cart and got right in my three year old brothers face and whispered “are you scared?” and my brother kissed him on the nose and the guy laughed so hard he had to leave
Is it illegal to have sex in a dressing room
I’ve gotten in trouble for jerking it in one soBut is itillegal
I jerked off in a dressing room do I sound like a lawyer
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a goddamn hat.
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…
WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE